Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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