i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
