john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Walk of Shame today included voting.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
