ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
