my sisters under your porch take her home
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
