We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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