the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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