Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
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