hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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