It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
