Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
