did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
