My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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