How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
