You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
