i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
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I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize