so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I'm always down for nudity.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
