I accidentally had phone sex last night
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
