But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
