Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
