so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
