Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
