just come out here and I will go home with you...
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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