so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize