Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen

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  (586): if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen http://tfl.nu/wvv2
  Replies (0) Good night (1462) Bad night (570)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth

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  (407): I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth http://tfl.nu/po8w
  Replies (14) Good night (2162) Bad night (730)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.

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  (570): I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country. http://tfl.nu/gt5r
  Replies (119) Good night (878) Bad night (3159)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?

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  (856): There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look? http://tfl.nu/ylkg
  Replies (115) Good night (4880) Bad night (635)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?

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  (306): Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'? http://tfl.nu/gncd
  Replies (14) Good night (4881) Bad night (1106)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.

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  (813): y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all. http://tfl.nu/2iln
  Replies (125) Good night (15189) Bad night (1355)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.

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  (613): If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough. http://tfl.nu/noke
  Replies (8) Good night (1259) Bad night (3551)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  The panties match.

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  I'll be right there.

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  (847): The panties match. (1-847): I'll be right there. http://tfl.nu/jbhz
  Replies (35) Good night (5934) Bad night (1024)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR

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  (918): Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR http://tfl.nu/fkjm
  Replies (22) Good night (4447) Bad night (1246)
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  (631): View more from New York

  It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.

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  (631): It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots. http://tfl.nu/yevq
  Replies (1) Good night (2336) Bad night (578)
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  (+49): View more from Germany

  In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?

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  (+49): In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life? http://tfl.nu/2p4e
  Replies (2) Good night (1349) Bad night (1457)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever

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  (804): time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever http://tfl.nu/4zua
  Replies (6) Good night (1473) Bad night (611)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been

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  (316): Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been http://tfl.nu/3z2b
  Replies (2) Good night (662) Bad night (382)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron

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  (937): Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron http://tfl.nu/gvqp
  Replies (1) Good night (594) Bad night (370)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure

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  (678): If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure http://tfl.nu/x8g2
  Replies (0) Good night (584) Bad night (230)

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