Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...