Only a mothe r could love this liver
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis