Texts From Last Night

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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number

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  (843): he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number http://tfl.nu/katp
  Replies (20) Good night (611) Bad night (6844)
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  (415): View more from California

  Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.

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  (415): Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it. http://tfl.nu/inu8
  Replies (10) Good night (5364) Bad night (712)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?

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  (503): can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone? http://tfl.nu/oqh6
  Replies (33) Good night (960) Bad night (13244)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work

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  (630): Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work http://tfl.nu/uouq
  Replies (16) Good night (1012) Bad night (3932)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat

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  (813): just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat http://tfl.nu/dslu
  Replies (36) Good night (687) Bad night (4772)
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  (626): View more from California

  Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game

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  (626): Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game http://tfl.nu/ygf5
  Replies (38) Good night (4744) Bad night (1607)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level

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  (908): I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level http://tfl.nu/dixb
  Replies (35) Good night (6975) Bad night (649)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.

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  (402): Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR. http://tfl.nu/vjij
  Replies (25) Good night (7392) Bad night (945)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere

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  (808): Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere http://tfl.nu/w66n
  Replies (1) Good night (1047) Bad night (613)
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  (310): View more from California

  It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal

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  (310): It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal http://tfl.nu/wa0q
  Replies (32) Good night (1272) Bad night (921)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?

  (1-810): View more from Michigan

  A safari of penis I hurt to the core

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  (810): Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas? (1-810): A safari of penis I hurt to the core http://tfl.nu/q0bf
  Replies (5) Good night (960) Bad night (544)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!

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  (425): I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze! http://tfl.nu/6miw
  Replies (4) Good night (1027) Bad night (308)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.

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  (717): Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about. http://tfl.nu/g2cn
  Replies (5) Good night (386) Bad night (311)
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  (315): View more from New York

  dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird

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  (315): dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird http://tfl.nu/6em9
  Replies (1) Good night (769) Bad night (274)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.

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  (+61): So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day. http://tfl.nu/3t4f
  Replies (1) Good night (571) Bad night (222)

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