i will never coherently bang her
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is