His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.