I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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