Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
