I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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