i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
