Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
