Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
