did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
