During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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