Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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