We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
