So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
