guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
