I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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