Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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