so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
