dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
