I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
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Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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