so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Randomize
