carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
