just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Randomize
