And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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