When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm too high and old for this...
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
