it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Help. Why am I so naked?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
