Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
