Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
