Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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