I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
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