who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Michael Bay diarrhea
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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