Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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