Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
