i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
