this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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