Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
so much tequila, so little girl.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize