Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
