You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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