Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
